I have to confess I did not want to get out of bed this morning.

But this was not just the typical I didn’t get enough sleep or just feel too comfy in the fartsack to want to get up.

This was the tail end of a downward spiral into depressive symptoms that started last evening after I got home from work. I had the house to myself and found myself dwelling in the muck of some dark feelings surrounding the current state of things in my personal life.

So when I woke up at 7:10 am I literally did not want to move. But I needed to.

Warmup:

Rifle carry of coupon around the perimeter

Grasspickers x10ic

Arm circles x10ic

Circle arms x10ic

Wonder-block x10ic

Man against himself:

Block burpees x10

Block curls x10ic

Thrusters x10

Bear crawl across the yard and around the shed back to center

WW2s x10ic

LBCs x10ic

Flutterkicks x10ic

Mosey around the perimeter stopping at each corner for 3 burpees. There was some reflection here, thinking about facing towards the challenges I face at home, bringing the spirit and energy of F3 workouts into my space, feeling that sense of needing to step up as protector of my family, as this watchman on the walls has been asleep for far too long. You reap what you sow and my life in many ways is bearing the fruit of years of neglect of my mental health, emotional distance and failure to lead nurture and cherish in my marriage and family life. There is a reckoning and some things can not be put back together and some things that are lost can not be reclaimed. Now the challenge is to be the man in the arena and show up in ways that I haven’t before and to do so without placing the burden of expectations on the ones I love. And to learn to put that love into practice. It can be daunting and sometimes lead to dark moments where defeat feels inevitable. But going back to that deep, dark place is not an option. So you move.

Return to center:

No surrenders x10ic

Block rows x10ic

Detour into house for x10 lat pull downs on home gym then back to center

Squats x10

Bear crawl up to deck and wosey back

Mosey down running path I used when I started running after my life blew up two years ago to fill out the 45 minutes

Cool down with walk through LBC campus, stop and play the piano, continue walk back to home, 3.8 miles total.