New AO Launch: F3 Grimace

Launches April 1, 2026 – McDonald’s PlayPlace
Attention PAX of F3 Lanco: After years of searching for the perfect blend of artificial turf, questionable hygiene, and nostalgia-fueled athleticism... the wait is over.

Introducing F3 Grimace

The newest AO launching at the McDonald’s PlayPlace—named both for the beloved purple McDonald's mascot and the face you make during your 47th burpee.

  • LOCATION: McDonald’s PlayPlace
  • LAUNCHES: 04/01/2026
  • TIME: 05:30 AM
  • AO Q: Kodak

#F3LANCO #F3Grimace #AccelerateWithExtraSalt #FitnessFellowshipFries

Workout at PlayPlace
Man looking in a mirror
Visualising in the mirror the man I want to become

1% Better Every Day

  • Patches, Big Blue, and Trojan: will deliver beatdowns so intense you’ll be seeing purple. Expect to climb, crawl, and question your life choices.
  • Caterpillar will be there, yelling “Let’s go, freakers!” with the kind of encouragement that somehow feels like a threat and a hug.
  • Bunyan will provide creative twists like the Ronald Relay, Shake Sprints, and Grimace Gallops—pure chaos with intention.
  • Barn Door has already committed to be there EVERY SINGLE WORKOUT. No excuses. Rain, shine, or broken ice cream machine.
  • Hatch will make sure the Q submits a backblast before you’ve even finished your last burpee.

What’s Inside the Box?

  • Slide sprints, nugget carries, and jungle gym suicides
  • A warmup called “The Wipe Down” (for sanitation purposes)
  • First 10 PAX receive commemorative ketchup packets
  • Post-workout coffeeteria (assuming they let us back inside)

F3 GRIMACE: Super-sizing pain with playground gains. So come get your grimace on. No refunds, no rationale, just glory. I’m lovin’ it!

Drive Thru Workout
“Leave no man behind—but if he’s ordering a McFlurry mid-workout, he’s on his own.”
The Grimace Meal
The McLanco Combo Meal

THE McLANCO COMBO

Not just a feast, a post-workout rite of passage.

This 2,790-calorie behemoth includes a Big Breakfast with Hotcakes, Large Fries, a Chocolate Shake, and a bonus cookie for moral support. It’s the kind of meal that makes your fitness tracker file a complaint and your arteries reevaluate their life choices. But hey, you earned it!

Nutrition Facts
“In the silence of the Ball Pit, I found myself. In the chaos of the Beatdown, I became HIM. You want growth? Show up. April 1st.”
— Grimace, AO Q Emeritus
©2026 F3 LANCO