Warm up

Initial warm up (ironic since it was pretty hot out) was with the main group, then we broke off and did a slowsie down to the lower pavilion.

We then did an Uncle Sam’s Pre-Flight Warm Up:

15 Freedom Side-Straddle Steps – Step proudly like you’re marching in a parade no one asked for.

10 Firework Windmills – Big, dramatic, “I’m a human sparkler” energy.

10 Bald Eagle Wing Flaps – Arms out wide. Make majestic eagle noises if the spirit moves you.

10 Liberty Marches – High knees, salute every third step, shout “’Merica” once per set.

10 Lawn-Chair Squats – Sit like you’re lowering into a lawn chair at a July 4th cookout.”

The Thang

Once we were assured that everyone was limbered up and no one would pull a muscle, we began the main event:

Maximum Freedom Cornhole

Cornhole determined the movement, but everything was joint-friendly, steady-paced, and of course, celebratory. One Pax would throw the cornhole bag and then lead the other PAX in doing the associated exercise. 

Throw Results

On the Board — 10 Incline Push-Ups – “Push the tea into the harbor.”

In the Hole — 10 Star-Spangled Step-Back Lunges – “Explode like a firework, but gently.”

Miss Left — 15 Seated American Hammers – Say “USA” every 5 reps. Loudly.

Miss Right — 20 Standing Marches – March like you’re leading the world’s least intimidating parade.

Short — 10 Calf Raises – Pretend you’re trying to see fireworks over a tall guy.

Long — 10 Bent-Over Rows – Row like you’re paddling George Washington across the Delaware while holding sparklers.

After a couple rounds of throws we modified to, the PAX throwing could lead any exercise of their choice which included dips, Michael Phelps (inhale if you want), little baby crunches, Tie Fighters, and flutter kicks. It was emphasized that the vibes be patriotic while keeping the Maintenance Crew mantra of “Nothing’s broken, we just need some upkeep.” To help keep the appropriate celebratory mood, an All American playlist of songs played in the background… made even more American by getting interrupted by ads as this Q is too cheap to pay for premium services. 

Mary

Various stretches

COT

Was led by Oneshot along with the group who played Ultimate.

Thanks for following my lead and I hope you all have a safe celebration of America’s 250th birthday.

THE Meatball